SSB4 Intro Dialogues
by Anonymous Contributer
Summary: Because every match can't start without a little trash-talking. Inspired by the "Mortal Kombat X" intro dialogues.
1. Round 1

**Round 1**

 **Yo everybody! So I've been enjoying _Mortal Kombat X_ recently, and one of the cool things I like about the game is all the unique intro dialogues between every characters. So I started thinking about where else this could be applied to, and came up with some dialogue for the _SSB4_ characters. I tried to make them humorous and/or badass, but some probably don't convey that too well because I try to also make the interactions realistic as well. Also, I tried to put these in some kind of order that made sense, but it kinda got muddled up at some point.**

 **But hey, if enough of you people like these, maybe I'll make more of them. So with that in mind, enjoy!**

 **Rating: T for mild sexual references.**

* * *

 **Mario** : I don't-a want to fight-a you Peach.

 **Peach** : If you win, I'll bake you a cake.

 **Mario** : Alrighty!

* * *

 **Bowser** : Any last words, Mario?

 **Mario** : So long King Bowser.

 **Bowser** : That's what Peach said last night.

* * *

 **Bowser** : I will destroy you Mario!

 **Mario** : We-a still going golfing tomorrow, right?

 **Bowser** : Oh yeah. Tee time's at 10.

* * *

 **Mario** : I want to challenge you Sonic.

 **Sonic** : More Olympics then?

 **Mario** : I was-a thinking something less painful.

* * *

 **Sonic** : The eternal rivalry!

 **Mario** : Wasn't much of a rivalry after _Heroes_.

 **Sonic** : Oh it's on now!

* * *

 **Luigi** : This time, I'm-a gonna be the hero!

 **Bowser** : Who are you again?

 **Luigi** : It sucks to be Weegee.

* * *

 **Bowser** : Green 'Stache!

 **Luigi** : How can you never remember my name?

 **Bowser** : Do you remember every Goomba you've stomped?

* * *

 **Peach** : Bowser.

 **Bowser** : You're coming with me.

 **Peach** : I can fend for myself this time.

* * *

 **Peach** : Wasn't I supposed to fight you before?

 **Doc Louis** : You backed out on us, Peachy.

 **Peach** : I had better things to do.

* * *

 **Pit** : So you attack with your butt?

 **Peach** : Are you curious?

 **Pit** : I…think I need an adult.

* * *

 **Bowser** : Maybe I should kidnap you instead.

 **Rosalina** : I am no one's silver medal.

 **Bowser** : I could never settle for less anyways.

* * *

 **Bowser** : You dare go against your father?

 **Bowser Jr.** : Gotta take the throne somehow.

 **Bowser** : HAHA! Make me proud, son!

* * *

 **Link** : How long must my incarnations fight you?

 **Ganondorf** : Until the Triforce is mine.

 **Link** : So always.

* * *

 **Ganondorf** : So you're the "Hero of the Sky".

 **Link** : Are you…Demise?

 **Ganondorf** : Specifically yours.

* * *

 **Zelda** : You're not my Link?

 **Link** : I'm afraid not.

 **Zelda** : Then there's no need to hold back.

* * *

 **Zelda** : You can't be…

 **Sheik** : I am. Free and unbound.

 **Zelda** : Then I shall overcome myself.

* * *

 **Zelda** : Ganondorf.

 **Ganondorf** : Prepared to be possessed again?

 **Zelda** : Your powers won't work this time.

* * *

 **Zelda** : You're the "Goddess of Light"?

 **Palutena** : At your service!

 **Zelda** : The Golden Godesses are more respectable.

* * *

 **Zelda** : I also used bindings to disguise my gender.

 **Lucina** : What…bindings?

 **Zelda** : …Oh.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon** : You copying me Fugly?

 **Ganondorf** : What is there worth imitating?

 **Captain Falcon** : A proper fist to the face for starters.

* * *

 **Ganondorf** : Any final words?

 **Wario** : How 'bout "extensive plastic surgery"?

 **Ganondorf** : Obnoxious till the end.

* * *

 **Pit** : Hey Ganondork!

 **Ganondorf** : How original.

 **Pit** : I'll spice things up in the fight.

* * *

 **Ganondorf** : The Goddess of Light.

 **Palutena** : Sure you wanna pick on a goddess this size?

 **Ganondorf** : Even the deities fall before me.

* * *

 **Palutena** : Don't you wield a sword?

 **Ganondorf** : That would make this too easy.

 **Palutena** : Same reason I only give 10%.

* * *

 **Samus** : Think you can take me on?

 **Mario** : I-a have a dragon as a rival.

 **Samus** : So do I.

* * *

 **Samus** : Wario.

 **Wario** : You gonna go crying back to Adam?

 **Samus** : I'll give a report once I'm finished with you.

* * *

 **Doc Louis** : Look who's back from flying!

 **Samus** : I'm here to pay you back for that kidney you punched.

 **Doc Louis** : Even her out a bit Mac baby!

* * *

 **Samus** : Stand aside Falcon.

 **Captain Falcon** : You don't have the authorization.

 **Samus** : I don't need authorization to put you down.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon** : So how about we split the bounty?

 **Samus** : I prefer to work solo.

 **Captain Falcon** : Then the winner gets the full cut.

* * *

 **Zero Suit Samus** : The SA-X!?

 **Samus** : No. The real Samus.

 **Zero Suit Samus** : Prove it then.

* * *

 **Palutena** : So about those heels…

 **Zero Suit Samus** : Not this again.

 **Palutena** : I'm just saying, Bayonetta called.

* * *

 **Fox** : Just like old times, huh Falco?

 **Falco** : It will be once I win again.

 **Fox** : Let me jog your memory.

* * *

 **Falco** : You sound like a dweeb Fox.

 **Fox** : And you sound flat and emotionless.

 **Falco** : 'Cause I know this'll be boring.

* * *

 **Falco** : What kind of angel can't fly?

 **Pit** : Well what kind of bird is…blue!

 **Falco** : Great comeback Einstein.

* * *

 **Fox** : So you're the top dog?

 **Captain Falcon** : The one and only champion!

 **Fox** : Soon to be the former champ.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon** : Another falcon?

 **Falco** : A better falcon.

 **Captain Falcon** : There can be only one.

* * *

 **Meta Knight** : King Dedede.

 **King Dedede** : Oh goody, the emo puffball.

 **Meta Knight** : You'll be the only one cut here.

* * *

 **King Dedede** : Where's my respect!?

 **Meta Knight** : One must earn it.

 **King Dedede** : I saved this world! Isn't that enough!?

* * *

 **Bowser** : The King of Dreamland.

 **King Dedede** : The King of the Koopas.

 **Bowser** : This means war.

* * *

 **Ganondorf** : How the mighty have fallen.

 **Meta Knight** : Still leagues above you.

 **Ganondorf** : Care to back up that claim?

* * *

 **Meta Knight** : You dare challenge me?

 **Doc Louis** : The punch is mightier than the sword!

 **Meta Knight** : Not when I'm its wielder.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon** : I heard you have some impressive skills.

 **Robin** : Well I am the master tactician.

 **Captain Falcon** : Well come on! Show me your moves!

* * *

 **Robin** : You hurt Lucina!

 **Captain Falcon** : To be fair, this is a fighting tournament.

 **Robin** : To be fair, I'm going to make you pay.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon** : I think we'll get along just fine.

 **Lucina** : You attacked me and my father!

 **Captain Falcon** : I said "just fine", not "great".

* * *

 **Lucina** : How hard did you hit my father?

 **Captain Falcon** : Enough to knock him out of the roster.

 **Lucina** : I will fight for his honor!

* * *

 **Robin** : You remind me of my father.

 **Ganondorf** : You will get no parental love from me.

 **Robin** : _Really_ remind me of him.

* * *

 **Ganondorf** : There is darkness in you.

 **Robin** : I overcame it long ago.

 **Ganondorf** : Let us see.

* * *

 **Lucina** : The Hero-King!

 **Marth** : Shall we spar now?

 **Lucina** : O-of course sir!

* * *

 **Ike** : I heard you've met my descendant.

 **Robin** : Yeah. Defeated him and his army too.

 **Ike** : I will redeem our legacy.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon** : What have you been eating big guy?

 **Ike** : Lots of meat. Why?

 **Captain Falcon** : How about you wash that down with some Falcon Punch?

* * *

 **Robin** : I don't want to fight you Lucina.

 **Lucina** : Nor do I. But we must.

 **Robin** : It's just one battle. We can get through this.

* * *

 **Lucina** : Oh, what have you been up to Robin?

 **Robin** : Just doing some training with your father.

 **Lucina** : Let's see how much you've improved.

* * *

 **Robin (M)** : Why is there a girl version of me?

 **Robin (F)** : Why is there a loser version of me?

 **Robin (M)** : Great, now I'm an immature brat.

* * *

 **Mewtwo** : What is this?

 **Lucario** : The one who succeeds you.

 **Mewtwo** : Unlikely.

* * *

 **Lucario** : My aura sensed your presence.

 **Mewtwo** : Because I hide from no one.

 **Lucario** : Nor can you run from this battle.

* * *

 **Mewtwo** : Do you know who you are faced against?

 **Palutena** : I don't have any data on you. I can't believe it!

 **Mewtwo** : You will learn soon enough.

* * *

 **Mewtwo** : You know what it's like to be a clone?

 **Dark Pit** : I know what it's like to be the stronger clone.

 **Mewtwo** : I almost pity fighting a kindred spirit.

* * *

 **Ganondorf** : Together, we could rule.

 **Mewtwo** : I do not work with inferior lifeforms.

 **Ganondorf** : I would have casted you aside anyways.

* * *

 **Wii Fit Trainer** : You are out of shape.

 **Wario** : I don't like to exercise.

 **Wii Fit Trainer** : I'll help you burn some calories.

* * *

 **Wario** : Why are you here and not Waluigi?

 **Wii Fit Trainer** : What can I say? I was more wanted.

 **Wario** : And they call me a dirty liar.

* * *

 **Robin** : You do know I'm a master strategist?

 **Shulk** : You do know I can predict your every move?

 **Robin** : You do know I like a good challenge?

* * *

 **Pit** : *Shulk imitation* Look at this joker!

 **Shulk** : Do I really sound that ridiculous?

 **Pit** : *Shulk imitation* Let's not lose your head now!

* * *

 **Palutena** : *Shulk imitation* I'm really feeling it!

 **Shulk** : Come on! That's not nice!

 **Palutena** : *Shulk imitation* Now it's Palutena time!

* * *

 **Dark Pit** : *Shulk imitation* I can definitely do this!

 **Shulk** : I thought you of all of them were above this!

 **Dark Pit** : *Shulk imitation* Shulk's scary when he's angry!

* * *

 **Pit** : Lady Palutena!

 **Palutena** : Ready for the onslaught Pit?

 **Pit** : Yes! I mean no! I mean maybe! I mean-…I'm scared.

* * *

 **Pit** : Is this because I ruined your garden?

 **Palutena** : Mmm…maybe.

 **Pit** : I knew a thousand sorrys wasn't enough.

* * *

 **Palutena** : So Pit, ready for your clobbering?

 **Pit** : Uh…can we push that to next Thursday?

 **Palutena** : Sorry, I have a busy schedule.

* * *

 **Pit** : Pittoo!

 **Dark Pit** : Okay, you die just for that!

 **Pit** : Yeesh, overreacting much?

* * *

 **Pit** : You ready for this!?

 **Dark Pit** : If you're done rubbing Palutena's bunions.

 **Pit** : Hey her feet are perfect because of me.

* * *

 **Dark Pit** : Get ready to throw down.

 **Pit** : Didn't I beat you every time before this?

 **Dark Pit** : You're not the main character this time.

* * *

 **Palutena** : Poor little Pittoo.

 **Dark Pit** : You know what happened to the last person who called me that?

 **Palutena** : Laughing up a storm like I am?

* * *

 **Palutena** : So, you and Viridi.

 **Dark Pit** : It's not like that and you know it.

 **Palutena** : True, but that's what my fanfiction is for.

* * *

 **Pit** : So you're a "Power Ranger", right?

 **Captain Falcon** : They said I was "too real" for the role.

 **Pit** : Not as real as this beatdown!

* * *

 **Captain Falcon** : You've got to be Falcon kidding me!

 **Dark Pit** : Seriously? Did you really have to say that?

 **Captain Falcon** : YES!

* * *

 **Lucina** : Naga?

 **Palutena** : Close, but no cigar.

 **Lucina** : Then you will pay dearly impostor!

* * *

 **Palutena** : Hey Lucy, wanna play?

 **Lucina** : Why do I have a feeling it won't be fun?

 **Palutena** : Well it'll be fun for me.

* * *

 **Lucina** : You insulted my father!

 **Palutena** : I was only teasing.

 **Lucina** : This is what I think of your teasing!

* * *

 **Lucina** : *growls*

 **Zero Suit Samus** : Any reason you're glaring so hard?

 **Lucina** : So big. Want revenge.

* * *

 **Sonic** : So how are you doing?

 **King Dedede** : I feel like pounding you into the ground.

 **Sonic** : That's no good!

* * *

 **Mega Man** : Captain Falcon.

 **Captain Falcon** : You can't copy the Falcon Punch.

 **Mega Man** : Won't need to.

* * *

 **Mega Man** : It's Gutsman!

 **Wario** : I'm-a Wario! I'll show you my butt to prove it!

 **Mega Man** : OKAY! OKAY! I believe you!

* * *

 **Mega Man** : Meta Knight.

 **Meta Knight** : Tell me, what are you fighting for?

 **Mega Man** : For everlasting peace.

* * *

 **Mega Man** : We teamed up before.

 **Sonic** : Yeah, after I wailed on you like a metal drum.

 **Mega Man** : I think I know why we aren't allies anymore.

* * *

 **Mega Man** : Long time no see Sonic.

 **Sonic** : Ready to finish what we started?

 **Mega Man** : It's a decent way to catch up.

* * *

 **Sonic** : You remind me of a buddy of mine.

 **Dark Pit** : If that's true, he wasn't a buddy of yours.

 **Sonic** : It's as if I've never left.

* * *

 **Wario** : Feeling homesick kid?

 **Ness** : Only when talking to strange creeps like you.

 **Wario** : Then let me reacquaint you with the back of my hand.

* * *

 **Lucas** : You were the one who turned Ness into a trophy!

 **Wario** : Meh, I had to earn my Pay Day.

 **Lucas** : You'll never hurt anyone again!

* * *

 **So clearly this was kind of skewed as some characters clearly had more lines than others, but that's mainly due to the fact that they were much easier to come up with dialogue for (the _Kid Icarus: Uprising_ characters are just hilarious, Ganondorf oozes badass, etc.) and not because of any favoritism. If I do make more of these, I'll try to even it out more. I'm also sorry if none of your favorite characters came up, but please understand that I can't do every character for this as not all of them can talk or seem to have a justifiable way to communicate. But yeah, thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I had writing these down. See ya whenever!**


	2. Round 2

**Round 2**

 **Did you miss me? Admit it you missed me (even though I've posted other stuff to prove I was still around). But I bet it wasn't me you really missed, and more wondering "When's _Precocious Love_?", huh? Well (boy am I about to sound like a broken record) I'm still trying to recover what's left of my fragmented mind from the hell I've been put through during the "Summer of '15", and I wanna make sure I still got the skill and mojo to do so. So what better way to test that than by giving you another writing piece that is filled with funny and clever dialogue (or at least I hope it is). Besides, I'm pretty sure we can all agree that we're overdue for another batch of _Smash Bros._ characters sticking it to each other. So read, enjoy, and let me know if I still got what it takes.**

 **Oh wait! Before you begin, lemme just spout off something _Precocious Love_ related. A good fan of mine by the name of J053D4N13L35C083D0 made a _TV Tropes_ page for _Precocious Love_. How great is that!? This dude's my new favorite person in the world, but that can be you if you check it out and expand the page even further (that's right, fight for Daddy's love)! Alright, now that that's out of the way, let's get this rolling!**

 **Rating: T for mild sexual references.**

* * *

 **Mario:** Luigi!

 **Luigi:** Bro!

 **Mario:** Let's-a go a few rounds!

* * *

 **Mario:** I'm-a stronger.

 **Luigi:** I jump-a higher.

 **Mario:** I always get the princess.

* * *

 **Bowser Jr.:** Mama Peach is mine Mario!

 **Mario:** You do know she's-a not your mama?

 **Bowser Jr.:** And she's _still_ not your girlfriend!

* * *

 **Mario:** I'm-a the Superstar!

 **Link:** I think I'm more popular.

 **Mario:** That's-a what you think.

* * *

 **Doc Louis:** You made some bad calls before.

 **Mario:** You just-a weren't ready for the World-a Circuit.

 **Doc Louis:** No rules against hittin' the ref this time Mac!

* * *

 **Luigi:** Little Mac.

 **Doc Louis:** Your year is over now Greenie!

 **Luigi:** Too bad! Weegee time!

* * *

 **Luigi:** Oh no!

 **Mewtwo:** You are right to cower.

 **Luigi:** Hasn't stopped me from-a fighting yet.

* * *

 **Lucas:** It's not easy being the younger nervous brother, huh?

 **Luigi:** Tell me about it.

 **Lucas:** We should hang out after this.

* * *

 **Peach:** Zelda!

 **Zelda:** A pleasure to face-off with you again Peach.

 **Peach:** And a pleasure it is to win again.

* * *

 **Peach:** My Mario can beat up your Link.

 **Zelda:** Even if that were true, you're no match against me.

 **Peach:** Oh you did not just say that.

* * *

 **Peach:** Oh aren't you adorable?

 **Toon Link:** I'm the Hero of Winds, darn it!

 **Peach:** I almost feel bad for fighting you.

* * *

 **Falco:** Think this is a game, princess?

 **Peach:** Oh, can I play~?

 **Falco:** Sure, but I play rough.

* * *

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** Peach.

 **Peach:** Hi~, I need a good workout.

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** You've come to the right instructor.

* * *

 **Peach:** Why would I ever go with you?

 **Bowser:** As far I'm concerned, we're still married.

 **Peach:** I want a divorce.

* * *

 **Bowser:** The fox.

 **Fox:** I've taken down bigger reptiles than you.

 **Bowser:** They weren't as awesome as me.

* * *

 **Lucina:** Bowser.

 **Bowser:** Hah! This fight is practically over already.

 **Lucina:** I say when it ends!

* * *

 **Ness:** What kind of enemy are you?

 **Bowser Jr.:** I'm the big bad future Koopa King!

 **Ness:** So you're from Winters then?

* * *

 **Bowser Jr.:** What do _you_ want?

 **Rosalina:** You and your father threatened our universe!

 **Bowser Jr.:** Oh just let it go.

* * *

 **Rosalina:** You're a big fellow.

 **Wario:** Says the woman with a million brats.

 **Rosalina:** Don't you dare insult my children!

* * *

 **Rosalina:** Don't worry. This won't be so bad.

 **Lucas:** I'm not worried. I can stand on my own now.

 **Rosalina:** If only I was more like you at that age.

* * *

 **Rosalina:** I can tell you cherish your Pikmin.

 **Olimar:** I can say the same for you and your children.

 **Rosalina:** How about we set up a play date?

* * *

 **Dr. Mario:** The doctor is in.

 **Olimar:** I don't believe you've ever been to medical school.

 **Dr. Mario:** What an unruly patient.

* * *

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** I'm here for my physical.

 **Dr. Mario:** Are you-a sure you're ready for this?

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** I think I'll pass with flying colors.

* * *

 **Zelda:** Hyrule has a lot to thank you for.

 **Link:** You can thank me with a friendly spar.

 **Zelda:** That I can provide.

* * *

 **Link:** What in Hylia's name?

 **Toon Link:** Uh…this is weird, right?

 **Link:** …Let's just fight.

* * *

 **Fox:** You brought a sword to a gunfight?

 **Link:** Not much of a fight if you can barely hurt me with it.

 **Fox:** Oh are you in for a surprise.

* * *

 **Link:** Captain Falcon.

 **Captain Falcon:** It takes the "Triforce of Courage" to take me on.

 **Link:** But I won't need "Power" to take you out.

* * *

 **Link:** Meta Knight.

 **Meta Knight:** I've come to seek a worthy swordsman.

 **Link:** I'll give you a proper duel.

* * *

 **Link:** Robin.

 **Robin:** Just so you know, I've singlehandedly wiped out armies before.

 **Link:** You're not the only one.

* * *

 **Zelda:** Link?

 **Toon Link:** I…don't think I'm your Link.

 **Zelda:** Still, I apologize in advance.

* * *

 **Zelda:** How can such a child possess so much magic?

 **Ness:** It's not magic, it's PSI.

 **Zelda:** I wonder which is stronger.

* * *

 **Ganondorf:** My phantom.

 **Ganondorf (Mirror):** You should have known it would come to this.

 **Ganondorf:** I will not fall to some worthless creation.

* * *

 **Ganondorf:** The Hero-King.

 **Marth:** I can't stand monsters like you.

 **Ganondorf:** Then I'll make you kneel before me.

* * *

 **Ganondorf:** Another instance of nepotism?

 **Lucina:** I've earned my right to be here.

 **Ganondorf:** Have you now?

* * *

 **Ryu:** Akuma!?

 **Ganondorf:** No. Far worse.

 **Ryu:** I will defeat you just the same.

* * *

 **Ganondorf:** Your evil self is stronger.

 **Ryu:** I will not let the Satsui no Hado consume me.

 **Ganondorf:** You'll need it for your survival.

* * *

 **Sheik:** You should never underestimate your opponent.

 **Fox:** I didn't lose the title to a monkey.

 **Sheik:** I'll just take yours instead.

* * *

 **Meta Knight:** ...

 **Sheik:** …

 **Meta Knight:** Fight me.

* * *

 **Pit:** So who are you really?

 **Sheik:** I am an enigma.

 **Pit:** Agh, this is gonna bother me all day.

* * *

 **Samus:** Do you know who you're messing with?

 **Wario:** You're Metroid, right?

 **Samus:** Famous last words.

* * *

 **Samus:** Suited up and ready for battle.

 **Palutena:** That armor would look better on the ground.

 **Samus:** I'm…going to hurt you now.

* * *

 **Olimar:** My Pikmin have taken down legions of monsters.

 **Samus:** I've killed just as much on my own.

 **Olimar:** Then you'll be our next conquest.

* * *

 **Zero Suit Samus:** You know what I do for a living?

 **Dark Pit:** Getting on your knees in Flint Town?

 **Zero Suit Samus:** Let's see how you enjoy it.

* * *

 **Robin:** I thought you were supposed to be weaker without your armor.

 **Zero Suit Samus:** I know how to adapt.

 **Robin:** That makes two of us.

* * *

 **Zero Suit Samus:** You ready?

 **Robin:** You can't stun me forever this time.

 **Zero Suit Samus:** Won't need to.

* * *

 **Palutena:** Think you can take on a goddess?

 **Fox:** Well I do know my way around a staff.

 **Palutena:** Oh I'm sure you do.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon:** I heard you had robot legs.

 **Fox:** That was just a rumor.

 **Captain Falcon:** Well you're gonna need 'em soon.

* * *

 **Falco:** Thought I caught a whiff of something rotten.

 **Wario:** You just had to follow your nose.

 **Falco:** Oh I'm really gonna enjoy this.

* * *

 **Falco:** Aren't you a little short to be a boxing champ?

 **Doc Louis:** Big things come in small packages!

 **Falco:** Not this one.

* * *

 **King Dedede:** You call yourself a king?

 **Marth:** More so than you.

 **King Dedede:** Oh yeah? Feel my royal authority!

* * *

 **Olimar:** You're a terrible leader.

 **King Dedede:** At least I don't eat my minions.

 **Olimar:** That was a misunderstanding!

* * *

 **Sonic:** So who are you again, Chubby?

 **King Dedede:** I'm the king of Dreamland!

 **Sonic:** Sounds like a nightmare.

* * *

 **Meta Knight:** So we cross paths once again.

 **Lucario:** I assume you wish for another duel.

 **Meta Knight:** Make it a worthy one.

* * *

 **Pit:** Now stepping up, it's the one and only Pit!

 **Wario:** Ugh…that garlic's-a kickin' in.

 **Pit:** Uh, is it too late to step down?

* * *

 **Pit:** Do all you _Fire Emblem_ guys have to have counter?

 **Roy:** It's a good skill to have.

 **Pit:** Yeah if you like seeing the same move everywhere.

* * *

 **Pit:** For Lady Palutena!

 **Lucina:** For my father!

 **Pit:** And for everyone watching!

* * *

 **Pit:** The Luce is Loose!

 **Lucina:** …I don't get it.

 **Pit:** Well then get a load of this!

* * *

 **Palutena:** Pit, have you been having naughty thoughts again?

 **Pit:** Uuuh…

 **Palutena:** Looks like someone needs to be punished.

* * *

 **Palutena:** So what's your relationship with Lucina?

 **Robin (M):** Uh…that's kind of a personal question.

 **Palutena:** That's fine, I'll just beat the answer out of you.

* * *

 **Palutena:** So is Lucina your daughter or what?

 **Robin (F):** It's…complicated.

 **Palutena:** But this fight will be easy.

* * *

 **Palutena:** So, you wanna do something after this?

 **Marth:** I am a married man!

 **Palutena:** And I'm not into guys prettier than me.

* * *

 **Dark Pit:** You are by far the dumbest addition here.

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** Said the black kettle.

 **Dark Pit:** Let me show you what I bring to the table.

* * *

 **Ness:** Why do I feel so uneasy?

 **Mewtwo:** You cannot grasp the true form of my power.

 **Ness:** No way!

* * *

 **Olimar:** What is this strange creature?

 **Mewtwo:** One beyond your mortal comprehension.

 **Olimar:** I can't wait to log this encounter.

* * *

 **Lucario:** You are no match for my aura.

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** It's important to maintain a good aura while exercising.

 **Lucario:** Your mockery ends now.

* * *

 **Marth:** You're back.

 **Roy:** And better than ever.

 **Marth:** Show me what you've learned.

* * *

 **Marth:** Roy.

 **Roy:** Why don't you come a little closer?

 **Marth:** I prefer to stand back a bit.

* * *

 **Marth:** I have a friend who's a lot like you.

 **Robin:** Same here, but you've already met Lucina.

 **Marth:** You have _one_ girl dress like you…

* * *

 **Ike:** Do you know nothing but greed?

 **Wario:** I know how to shut up meatheads like you.

 **Ike:** You'll get no sympathy from me.

* * *

 **Ike:** Why are you here?

 **Roy:** To reclaim my position.

 **Ike:** Then prove your worth.

* * *

 **Roy:** Blue flames?

 **Ike:** Hotter than red ones.

 **Roy:** But not hotter than mine.

* * *

 **Lucina:** I wish my father were here.

 **Ike:** Then fight in his stead.

 **Lucina:** I will. And I'll show you.

* * *

 **Ryu:** Another shotoclone?

 **Ike:** I am no clone.

 **Ryu:** Then this should be an interesting fight.

* * *

 **Ike:** I fight for my friends.

 **Ryu:** You fight better when you have nothing to lose.

 **Ike:** Let's see whose conviction is stronger.

* * *

 **Lucina:** Aw, so cute.

 **Meta Knight:** Looks can be deceiving.

 **Lucina:** I know better than to let my guard down.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon:** Falcon Punch vs. Flare Blade! Let's go!

 **Roy:** I'd rather not blow up the stage.

 **Captain Falcon:** It would be too easy if I won in one hit.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon:** Ready to go again little captain?

 **Olimar:** Oh no, not again!

 **Captain Falcon:** This time, try punching with your fists.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon:** You ready to duke it out Monado boy?

 **Shulk:** I think I'm getting a vision.

 **Captain Falcon:** Then you can already see me winning!

* * *

 **Captain Falcon:** Wait, so you're not human?

 **Shulk:** Nope. I'm a Homs.

 **Captain Falcon:** Let me show you how we greet each other here.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon:** Think you're faster than me?

 **Sonic:** Please. I can break the sound barrier.

 **Captain Falcon:** And I can break your face!

* * *

 **Shulk:** I can be even faster than you.

 **Sonic:** As if. Next you'll say you're stronger than me.

 **Shulk:** About that…

* * *

 **Toon Link:** Sonic.

 **Sonic:** Gotta warn ya kid, I'm pretty tough.

 **Toon Link:** Until I kick you in the stuff.

* * *

 **Mega Man:** So you're my next opponent.

 **Luigi:** Let's see how you handle KUNG-FUIGI!

 **Mega Man:** You're toast mister!

* * *

 **Mega Man:** Toon Link.

 **Toon Link:** I'm going to make paper dolls out of you.

 **Mega Man:** Get in line, kid.

* * *

 **Mega Man:** A new Mega Man model!?

 **Samus:** I'm not a robot, but don't hesitate to fight me.

 **Mega Man:** I can make an exception.

* * *

 **Lucario:** No aura? What are you?

 **Mega Man:** I'm a robot. But I fight for humanity!

 **Lucario:** Show me what a "robot" can do.

* * *

 **Mega Man:** Ryu.

 **Ryu:** Weren't you once heftier?

 **Mega Man:** Never mention that fraud!

* * *

 **Mega Man:** You took _everything_ from me!

 **Ryu:** So you seek revenge.

 **Mega Man:** I seek justice!

* * *

 **Ness:** It's good to see you again Lucas.

 **Lucas:** I've been training real hard since I left. Wanna see?

 **Ness:** You know I do!

* * *

 **Lucas:** You think Travis will ever join us?

 **Ness:** I pretty sure that's just wishful thinking.

 **Lucas:** Then let's train in his honor!

* * *

 **Well that was fun, right? I think I got these a little more organized now and gave a fairly balanced amount of interactions for each character this time around. But I guess if I didn't, you'll let me know, right? Eh, that probably too much work I'm asking you to do for me on top of the whole "let me know whether or not I still got it" thing. Though I suppose I can't force you to do that either. Oh well, do whatever you want, whether it's letting me know if you liked this or not, or just going along your merry way. Until next time!**


	3. Round 3

**Round 3**

 **Remember me? Yeah you do! Ah it feels good to be back in the writing game! Not to mention that it was probably best that I get something out before _Pokkén Tournament_ comes out and takes up the next three months of my life. So I figured a good piece to get out would be another round of _Smash Bros._** **characters throwing shade and making references at each other. We're kinda overdue for one anyways. I gotta warn ya though, I might've regressed in keeping a balanced amount of interactions for each character. You'll see what I mean.**

 **I'd talk more, but I'm too busy reminiscing about the latest _Nintendo Direct_ and getting hype over the prospect of "Kirby with mechs" (I smell a new final smash in _Super Smash Bros. 5_ ). So how about we end this Author's note early and get right to it!**

 **Rating: T for mild sexual references.**

* * *

 **Mario:** Did I eat a double cherry?

 **Mario (mirror):** 127 of them actually.

 **Mario:** But only one of us can have-a Peach.

* * *

 **Mario:** Wario.

 **Wario:** This time, I'm-a gonna win!

 **Mario:** You haven't before. Why-a start now?

* * *

 **Meta Knight:** I've heard of your many heroics.

 **Mario:** Thank you so much a-for your praise.

 **Meta Knight:** Tell me, does your reputation precede you?

* * *

 **Mario:** It's-a me, Mario!

 **Robin:** Sorry, but I don't remember you.

 **Mario:** Allow me to reintroduce myself.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon:** You call that racing?

 **Mario:** We spiced it up with anti-gravity systems.

 **Captain Falcon:** So where's my cut?

* * *

 **Mario:** Is your head always-a this spiky?

 **Cloud:** It is. Why?

 **Mario:** I better not-a jump on it then.

* * *

 **Bayonetta:** I sure hope you're more fun than you look.

 **Mario:** You'd be amazed at what a plumber can do.

 **Bayonetta:** Mamma Mia!

* * *

 **Bowser Jr.:** Oh great, the lame one.

 **Luigi:** Hey, I help save the princess too.

 **Bowser Jr.:** Suuuuuure you do.

* * *

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** You look like you've seen a ghost.

 **Luigi:** Y-y-you're the one who's all white.

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** Well start running away to burn those carbs.

* * *

 **Ryu:** You must defeat my Shoryuken to stand a chance.

 **Luigi:** Well you must defeat my Super Jump Punch to…do the same.

 **Ryu:** Challenge accepted.

* * *

 **Peach:** You've been appearing in everything lately.

 **Rosalina:** I like to keep myself busy.

 **Peach:** As long as you make time for us.

* * *

 **Rosalina:** You're special one can't save you this time.

 **Peach:** I won't need him too.

 **Rosalina:** Such confidence for one who requires constant rescuing.

* * *

 **Peach:** Ready to show a girl a good time?

 **Cloud:** Sure. Why not?

 **Peach:** Then quit dilly-dallying and let's go!

* * *

 **Peach:** Bayonetta.

 **Bayonetta:** Think that outfit would look better on me.

 **Peach:** I can loan you a spare after this.

* * *

 **Mewtwo:** What Pokémon are you?

 **Bowser:** I'm no weak little Pokémon.

 **Mewtwo:** Nor are you a threat.

* * *

 **Bowser:** You got guts kid.

 **Mega Man:** I can't let a monster like you go terrorizing everyone.

 **Bowser:** Like you can stop me.

* * *

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** Your posture has improved greatly.

 **Bowser:** There's only one way to repay you.

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** I can make you slouch in pain again.

* * *

 **Wario:** Hey! Magic is cheating!

 **Zelda:** But it's okay if you cheat?

 **Wario:** I don't need to set an example.

* * *

 **Wario:** Oooh…Zero suit?

 **Zero Suit Samus:** Not what you think.

 **Wario:** BAH! Then what's the point!?

* * *

 **Captain Falcon:** Ready for a Falcon Punch, Gasbag?

 **Wario:** You're fighting gas with fire?

 **Captain Falcon:** It's a risk I'm willing to take.

* * *

 **Wario:** Oh Goddess, please make me rich.

 **Palutena:** Yeah, that's not how praying works.

 **Wario:** This is why I steal.

* * *

 **Shulk:** Wario.

 **Wario:** The funny-talking kid.

 **Shulk:** You will know my name!

* * *

 **Rosalina:** You are certainly dignified.

 **Zelda:** It's how a ruler should behave.

 **Rosalina:** Makes our battle all the more ironic.

* * *

 **Rosalina:** Do you plan on taking over the cosmos?

 **Ganondorf:** Why settle for just one world?

 **Rosalina:** I will never let you have your way!

* * *

 **Samus:** Never seen you before during my space travels.

 **Rosalina:** I make myself known when I am truly needed.

 **Samus:** Let's hope you're not needed for a while.

* * *

 **Pit:** You are so going down!

 **Link:** You can try.

 **Pit:** I'll show Viridi who's a campfire.

* * *

 **Link:** Your projectiles cannot pierce my shield.

 **Mega Man:** I've gotten around this problem before.

 **Link:** That still leaves you with many others.

* * *

 **Cloud:** I'm here for a rematch.

 **Link:** You do remember what happened last time?

 **Cloud:** This isn't last time.

* * *

 **Zero Suit Samus:** Pretty gutsy for a princess to get her hands dirty.

 **Zelda:** Says the bounty hunter without her armor.

 **Zero Suit Samus:** Just makes this all the more embarrassing for you.

* * *

 **Corrin:** A Hoshidan ninja?

 **Sheik:** A Sheikah warrior.

 **Corrin:** And soon to be a fallen foe.

* * *

 **Sheik:** I've been watching you closely.

 **Corrin:** Even when—

 **Sheik:** ESPECIALLY then.

* * *

 **Corrin:** F-Father?

 **Ganondorf:** You are no child of mine.

 **Corrin:** Doesn't change my next actions.

* * *

 **Ganondorf:** You'll be at your limit soon enough.

 **Cloud:** Limits were meant to be broken.

 **Ganondorf:** Of which I have none.

* * *

 **Cloud:** Ganondorf.

 **Ganondorf:** Such recklessness to face me alone.

 **Cloud:** I'm not alone. Not anymore.

* * *

 **Toon Link:** So are Pikmin anything like Koroks?

 **Olimar:** Not that I'm aware.

 **Toon Link:** Okay, that makes this much easier.

* * *

 **Marth:** I can tell you'll grow into a fine swordsman.

 **Toon Link:** Yeah, I kinda already am.

 **Marth:** Let's not get carried away young one.

* * *

 **Samus:** A kid shouldn't have to go through with this.

 **Ness:** I've fought aliens too, you know.

 **Samus:** That just furthers my point.

* * *

 **Ness:** Hey Samus.

 **Samus:** A warzone is no place for a kid.

 **Ness:** I can hold my own pretty well.

* * *

 **Samus:** Bayonetta.

 **Bayonetta:** Love that suit.

 **Samus:** Let me show you what it can do.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon:** Heard you got a mean punch.

 **Doc Louis:** Meaner than a falcon's.

 **Captain Falcon:** But is it as epic and glorious?

* * *

 **Doc Louis:** We need a new punching bag.

 **Captain Falcon:** So why are you wasting your time with me?

 **Doc Louis:** Who better than the crash test dummy?

* * *

 **Doc Louis:** Okay Mac, you wanna start juking and jiving, then go in low!

 **Fox:** You know I'm standing right here.

 **Doc Louis:** Alright Mac, new plan! Improvise!

* * *

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** So what kind of training regimen do you do?

 **Doc Louis:** We do 100 push-ups! 100 sit-ups! 100 squats!

 **Wii Fit Trainer:** And 100% full of it.

* * *

 **Sonic:** A fox who flies a plane?

 **Fox:** Arwing, but yes.

 **Sonic:** You're as dead as originality.

* * *

 **Sonic:** One tail? Weak.

 **Fox:** Still stronger than you.

 **Sonic:** Leave the jokes to the professionals.

* * *

 **Falco:** Another blue animal with an attitude?

 **Sonic:** I could sue you for plagiarism.

 **Falco:** It's the only way you could make any money these days.

* * *

 **Sonic:** Someone order the clipped chicken wings?

 **Falco:** Sorry, I asked for the stuffed hedgehog.

 **Sonic:** Well this hedgehog can tell you to stuff it.

* * *

 **Captain Falcon:** I heard there's a bounty on Star Wolf. Know something about them?

 **Falco:** Maybe I do. What of it?

 **Captain Falcon:** Start talking or get squawking.

* * *

 **Bayonetta:** A little birdie's come to serenade me?

 **Falco:** Don't count on it ya dumb witch.

 **Bayonetta:** Flock off Featherface!

* * *

 **King Dedede:** Well if it isn't the angel.

 **Pit:** Is it Christmas already?

 **King Dedede:** Sure. Here's your present.

* * *

 **King Dedede:** _Another_ all-powerful abomination!?

 **Mewtwo:** You claim there are other beings like me?

 **King Dedede:** Like you wouldn't believe.

* * *

 **King Dedede:** The king has arrived!

 **Captain Falcon:** So where's my red carpet?

 **King Dedede:** The ground will be red soon enough.

* * *

 **Meta Knight:** You insist on goading me?

 **Marth:** We never did get to finish our fight.

 **Meta Knight:** A mistake I shall rectify.

* * *

 **Bayonetta:** Now how did this one get away?

 **Pit:** I'm not like any other angel!

 **Bayonetta:** When you've fought a thousand, you've fought them all.

* * *

 **Palutena:** Hey little man.

 **Doc Louis:** She may be a goddess Mac, but you're an Adonis!

 **Palutena:** Think your life coach may be buttering you up a bit too much.

* * *

 **Palutena:** Don't we have enough of you guys?

 **Corrin:** There's not that many other dragons here.

 **Palutena:** Not what I meant, but one less wouldn't hurt.

* * *

 **Palutena:** How do you know if I'm actually real?

 **Cloud:** Even an illusion can't give me this much of a headache.

 **Palutena:** Aww, you're so sweet.

* * *

 **Palutena:** Won't your girlfriend be upset if I rough you up?

 **Cloud:** Tifa won't have to worry about anything.

 **Palutena:** I was talking about Sephiroth.

* * *

 **Bayonetta:** Hello Goddess.

 **Palutena:** I thought the Umbran witches were extinct.

 **Bayonetta:** I could say the same about your kind.

* * *

 **Palutena:** Bayonetta.

 **Bayonetta:** Come on, goddess. Give me your best smiting.

 **Palutena:** Careful. Witches get stitches.

* * *

 **Palutena:** You stay away from Pit!

 **Bayonetta:** What's the matter? Afraid I'll steal your boy toy?

 **Palutena:** Oh that's it!

* * *

 **Lucina:** I've learned much from my ancestor.

 **Dark Pit:** From a third-rate Marth to a second-rate one.

 **Lucina:** You'll pay for that insult, Black Pit.

* * *

 **Dark Pit:** Ran out of sports tape?

 **Sonic:** Ugh. That was a dark time in my life.

 **Dark Pit:** It's about to get darker.

* * *

 **Bayonetta:** Well aren't you the edgy one.

 **Dark Pit:** Better watch out. I cut deep.

 **Bayonetta:** Don't worry, you're just going through a phase.

* * *

 **Corrin:** So this is the world you came from.

 **Marth:** Common misconception, actually.

 **Corrin:** Well it's still a nice place to train.

* * *

 **Lucario:** You've grown stronger.

 **Ike:** Travelling the world will do that.

 **Lucario:** As I've come to know.

* * *

 **Ike:** That's a large sword.

 **Cloud:** Bigger than yours.

 **Ike:** It's not the size that matters, but how you use it.

* * *

 **Cloud:** It pays well to be a Greil merc?

 **Ike:** Enough to get by. Care to join?

 **Cloud:** Not interested.

* * *

 **Roy:** This is confusing.

 **Roy (Koopaling):** Just means I gotta take out the faker!

 **Roy:** Yes, _I_ have to.

* * *

 **Roy:** I've fought with your ancestor many a time before.

 **Lucina:** I would love to learn from you as well.

 **Roy:** Oh Marth is going to be so jealous.

* * *

 **Roy:** Father!?

 **Roy (mirror):** Still dead I'm afraid.

 **Roy:** Way to get my hopes up.

* * *

 **Roy:** Think long and hard about who you're up against.

 **Bayonetta:** It's how I always like to picture it.

 **Roy:** Hey, eyes are up here.

* * *

 **Corrin:** You look so much like her.

 **Lucina:** Will that be a problem?

 **Corrin:** No. Give me your all.

* * *

 **Lucina:** Fiora says hi.

 **Shulk:** Really!? Can you tell her I'm fine and winning?

 **Lucina:** After this match? I'm not so sure.

* * *

 **Ryu:** It's been some time, Lucina.

 **Lucina:** Indeed, it has.

 **Ryu:** Show me how much stronger you've become.

* * *

 **Robin:** We're a lot alike, you and I.

 **Corrin:** Except I'm better in every way.

 **Robin:** Keep telling yourself that.

* * *

 **Robin:** It's hard not remembering who you are.

 **Cloud:** Sorry, I can't help you there.

 **Robin:** *sarcastic* Thanks. You're a real help.

* * *

 **Bayonetta:** I heard you really get around.

 **Robin:** Can we just fight already?

 **Bayonetta:** Fine. Business before pleasure.

* * *

 **Corrin (M):** This is all kinds of wrong.

 **Corrin (F):** Don't hate me just because I'm prettier than you.

 **Corrin (M):** You are not pretti—! Wait…

* * *

 **Sonic:** What are you supposed to be?

 **Mewtwo:** I am the most powerful Pokémon in the world—!

 **Sonic:** Yeah yeah, ultimate lifeform. I got the gist of it.

* * *

 **Ryu:** Psycho power!?

 **Mewtwo:** So you know of my strength.

 **Ryu:** And how much of a danger you are.

* * *

 **Lucario:** Another Lucario.

 **Lucario (mirror):** I am curious of your fighting ability.

 **Lucario:** As am I.

* * *

 **Ryu:** How do you know the hadoken?

 **Lucario:** My aura can take on many forms.

 **Ryu:** So it's nothing more than a pale imitation.

* * *

 **Sonic:** Just drop the act. No one's falling for it.

 **Shulk:** My visions are very real.

 **Sonic:** I meant the accent. No way anyone sounds like that.

* * *

 **Bayonetta:** I think I should be _Sega's_ new mascot.

 **Sonic:** And what makes you better than me?

 **Bayonetta:** When was the last good game you had?

* * *

 **Mega Man:** How can a human perform such feats?

 **Captain Falcon:** Boy, I'm above and beyond any human.

 **Mega Man:** I should observe closely.

* * *

 **Bayonetta:** If you need to talk to a lady…

 **Lucas:** Yes…?

 **Bayonetta:** Right, forgot about the boy.

* * *

 **Ryu:** A new challenger approaches.

 **Captain Falcon:** It's the battle of the century!

 **Ryu:** Round 1. FIGHT!

* * *

 **Cloud:** Hm?

 **Cloud (mirror):** Not you again.

 **Cloud:** Stay where you belong; in my memories!

* * *

 **Bayonetta:** Oof. Bad hair day, I take it?

 **Cloud:** And yours is so much better?

 **Bayonetta:** New 'do, dead you.

* * *

 **Yeah, so there was an excessive amount of Bayonetta in this chapter. Sorry, but she was really fun and easy to make dialogue for. And I guess looking at it now, Cloud probably also got a good amount more than others (his "gives zero fucks" attitude also made him pretty enjoyable to write for). So if there is a next time, I'll try to give them less spotlight (or more if I feel like pissing you guys off during the moment *troll laugh*). Anyways, thanks for giving this a read and I hope you liked what you saw. See ya next time!**


End file.
